Journey to Thin xo.

These past two days have been pretty good with eating and exercising. Yesterday I did a super intense kettle bell workout and then some cardio and sprints and today I went for a nice little bike ride. Tomorrow I’m planning on going for a nice long run, hopefully 5km. I need to really start taking this weight loss thing seriously. I am doing a really good job of healthy eating when I’m at work, but it’s like as soon as I get home I have free reign of the kitchen which really needs to stop. I really want this, this losing weight thing, but I feel like I have no will power and I don’t know why I can’t stick to anything for longer than a week. Maybe it’s because I feel like I won’t ever reach my goal, or maybe it’s just because life is getting in the way. Regardless I need to start putting my health first and really focusing on losing this weight. 

My best friends and I are planning a vacation sometime next december. They are both gorgeous and thin and I do not want to be the fat friend that is tagging along with them. I don’t think it will be a really good vacation for me if I’m like that. 

But, as much as motivation like that may help to push me in the right direction, it’s not what ultimately is going to make me lose the weight. I have to want to do it for me. And thats what I’m really struggling with right now. 

I am just a complete and utter disaster. I want to lose weight so badly but it’s like I can’t even stick to a plan for a week. How am I supposed to lose weight if I have no will power? 

My eating is definitely the biggest problem. I feel like I’m eating so healthy but I’m not losing weight even when I’m exercising. I just don’t understand. I am thinking of starting weight watchers. I have all the info and the tools I would need, it’s just actually putting it all together that I would need to start doing. I’m going to look it up tomorrow and hopefully that will kick start something. 

I’m sick of being fat and huge and self conscious. I want to be happy with my body and confident in a bathingsuit. And right now I am none of those things. 

These past two days I have gone for runs, the first one was 4.6km and the second was 5.15km. They felt AMAZING. I don’t know what I have been doing right with them but it seems like I’m just getting better. I just felt like they went by so fast and I could have gone farther. I wanted to but last time I got too excited I got plantar fascitis and couldn’t run for about a month. Needless to say I’ll be taking it slow. My goal is to run in a 10k by the end of the summer and maybe a couple 5k over the course of the summer. I haven’t timed myself running at all these past two runs and I am kind of eager to see if my speed is getting better or if it’s just my endurance. I will most likely time myself on the runs this weekend to see how its going. 

Hopefully if I keep running like this and I eat healthy I can slim down and lose some serious pounds. 

Anyways, hope all the Canadians out there have a wonderful victoria day long weekend ! 

Kisses, 

L. 

I am so frustrated right now. I feel like no matter how hard I try I always end up falling off the wagon. And then when I finally have a good week, or a good couple of weeks the scale doesn’t budge and I find myself asking well whats the point. 

I need help. I don’t know what to do anymore.

I can’t believe that its already may, it seems like yesterday I was just making new years resolutions. I can’t believe that at the end of June, only two months away, it will be half way through 2012. That being said I really need to get my shit together. I have been hardcore slacking off since I got back from my vacation and it really needs to stop. I have started training for my triathlon but I don’t think that that workout if quite enough so I’m going to mix in some more cardio and weights as well. I’m also contemplating running a 10k at the end of the summer but I am not sure how to combine the training for the both of the events together. Any ideas? 

My eating has been really good at work but as soon as I get home I basically eat my entire house. Not a very good thing, so I definitely need to fix that. 

Anyways, tomorrow starts a super serious eating and workout plan. I may even start counting weight watchers points…..